My Jonathan obsession...


It's been so long since I've been in love...you know, that hero-worship-you're amazing-i'll-die-without-you kind of love. Sure there's been interested parties on both sides but nothing that drew my attention away from my hobbies, or made me act all silly and intoxicated.

I just wasn't willing to settle. But you know how I came to feel that way? It has to do with a leather jacket and the city of Amsterdam.

I don't remember if I was coming or going, but I've used that city numerous times as a hub for either entering or leaving Europe. It must have been about 10 years ago when this event took place that to this day still affects the way I think about and approach relationships.

It has to do with a jacket I saw in a second-hand shop. It was short, black, had two front pockets, and a fabric waist - probably from the 70's, and it cost around 50 dollars.

It looked really good on me but had a couple problems with the way it fit...the sleeves were a bit too short and being a men's jacket, was slightly tight in the chest area. I could have taken it but something within me said to be patient, that something better was going to come along. And it did. Later on that afternoon, I went into another second-hand shop on the other side of town and low and behold, an identical jacket that fit perfectly. I still have it.

So I learned to be patient that something better will usually present itself if we're open to it. Now I can understand the fallacy of always waiting for the 'perfect' partner, the 'perfect' job, the 'perfect' house but 'perfection' is impossible. That's another conversation. 

Let's talk about falling in love then, shall we? From the moment I played Jonathan's 4+ hour video I was hooked on his voice. He seemed so wise, articulate and well-read. He entered my life precisely when I needed him, during a time when I was overloading on information found on the Internet pertaining to god and spirituality. I searched all over the Internet trying to find pictures and other information, even messaged others on Youtube who were hosting his videos. No luck. Yet that dream lived on for a while there. 






Destined for greatness

You know it's true, but you feel miserable because life seems stagnant. Countless gurus are telling you to be accepting of 'what is', or to 'love yourself exactly as you are'. That seems to be an excuse for mediocrity, and as far as I'm concerned they can take their advice and shove it.